It’s Your Environment, Silly!
Making small changes to your environment makes a big difference, you just have to know how
There is a story I heard years ago, maybe true, maybe not.
The USA wanted to increase the size of the goals in soccer (aka football). The reason being, they wanted more goals scored to make the game more exciting. They reasoned, who wants to sit through 90 minutes of a game with the possibility of no scoring?
The story goes that FIFA, the ruling body of world soccer, approved the change with one small caveat: the USA could not compete in the World Cup!
The size of soccer goals in the USA went unchanged!
Maybe the USA had a point. Ninety minutes with any score can a bit of a slog.
But FIFA “owns” the game. They decide what is allowed and not allowed. Here in Australia we have the AFL (Australian Football League). If the USA wants to change a game, join the AFL! The rules change every year!
Whoever owns the game … makes the rules!
At work, the company makes the rules, the boss endeavours to enforce them and the workers follow them.
hot desking vs own desk
personal items versus clean desk policy
BYOD (Bring Your Own Device) vs company only
website restrictions vs open website access
a compelling vision vs a transactional business model
These, and many other factors, help make up our environment.
But if the environment is not ideal, what are we to do? Not everyone can just up and leave and find another job.
Describe the Environment You Want
Referring back to the above point “Whoever owns the game … makes the rules”, we need to make our own rules within the game we can play.
Here’s a personal example:
In our home, I made a rule there is to be no shouting, no yelling! And for the past 40 years or so, we have pretty much kept that rule. This means if you want to tell someone something go to them and speak with them. Even if it is, “Do you want a coffee?”. Yes, it’s a silly question to begin with but, looking past that, not being allowed to yell that out, keeps the tone of the home calm, if not serene.
After a day at work, where you do have to put up with all sorts of language, communication malfunctions and dysfunctional behaviours, I wanted the home to be a calm place to rest and recharge.
Another example, perhaps a bit selfish, was when the kids were little, their mum used to say, “Wait till your father gets home!” I stopped that one dead, by saying “You deal with it! The last thing I want to do when I get home is having to discipline the kids!” (She was a stay-at-home mum at the time.)
This is not an easy task to make a change. Especially if we have tolerated our own behaviours and those of others for so long.
But …
Nothing changes if nothing changes!
… so some decisions could be difficult to enforce early on.
As George Bernard Shaw says:
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” (Man and Superman)
There needs to be a little “unreasonableness” in us all if we are to make progress to a more ideal lifestyle.
Start Small - No need to upset the apple cart straight away
Our environment consists of more than work and relationships. Though they are important.
Pick something small to begin with.
My study/studio is a mess! I’ve added a photo to save me describing it. But with a bit of thought and and ounce of perseverance, I can make it an environment I want to be in.
I don’t need to be ruthless. I can pack the unsightly items away in a cupboard to review later on.
If I start with the smallest things in the “game” I am creating, I make the rules. I’ll know when I have broken a rule and whether I need to make amends. It’s my game, after all.
Back to Work …
Making the rules at home is relatively easy. Though not always.
It may be slightly different at work. You’re a “known entity” at work. People have gotten used to how they interact with you, so a change may cause a few odd looks or responses.
Can I offer dealing with interruptions as a way to start?
Don’t let anyone destroy your schedule. Anyone! Not even your boss. (Yes, your boss can overrule you! 🤷♂️)
Here’s how you might start that process (even with your boss): “Hey boss thanks, can we reschedule this discussion, or do we need to do this now?”
If they say, “It’s now!”, you’ll need to accommodate but you have set the scene that you’d like interruptions to be an exception. Maybe politely explain this to your boss at the end of your meeting. Get their buy-in so you know they know.
If it’s a colleague, it’s bit easier of course but same can apply. I’ve used the “Is it urgent?” response.
Many people now use headphones to send a signal when they are in “focus mode” and listen to white or brown noise. I can get on board with that. 🎧
Despise not small beginnings
These are small changes to make, for sure. But they open up a whole realm of possibilities when you start thinking about making your environment the best it can be for YOU!
I split my list, which I call Sufferings (why “sufferings” is in the footnote), into three segments:
Now
What can I do now to help improve my environment?
What do I need to change?
How important is the change? - If it’s not that important, might you be dying on the wrong battlefield?
If I make the change what is the tangible benefit? (to you and, possibly, others!)
And, lastly, slightly tongue in cheek, but needs to be considered:
who am I going to piss off if I am successful in making this change?
And for how long?
Later
Very similar to all the above but may require more thought and planning.
These may be life changing decisions (changing jobs, partner, social groups etc) none of which should be taken lightly.
Ask the same questions above, especially “what tangible benefit will you achieve by making this change?”
This can be difficult with the bigger decisions. Changing jobs may seem like a good idea if we think the grass is greener, but as one colleague said on their return to the company they elft, “There was NO grass!”
Never
This is very much a peace of mind process for me.
Some “sufferings” may not be changeable, at least at the moment. You can’t see how things will change. This can be quite depressing but there is a perverse peace of mind (I find) knowing nothing can be done. It means I try not to worry about it — not always easy.
It is what it is! Some people find this phrase defeatist. Perhaps it is, but if you can’t see a way out at the moment, why beat yourself up? As you change the things you can, solutions might appear!
(That’s why you write this stuff down so you don’t lose sight of what is important.)
I have a form to list and review my sufferings. Let me know if you’d like a copy and we’ll work out a way to get it to you.
Suffering? What the hell?
I chose the word “suffering” intentionally. There are two reasons.
Buddha has said that life is suffering, or, more accurately, “life does not satisfy.”
Jesus said, “Suffer the little children to come to me.” Suffer in this sense, means to “allow”. Therefore, “Allow the little children …”
So in choosing “sufferings”, I looked at the two passages and came to this conclusion:
Life is often not satisfying. And often it is because of what we allow!
Sometimes this is within our control and sometimes not.
We lost our first child, Ben, at nine months old, 37 years ago this month. Did we suffer? Hell, yes and occasionally still do if we dwell on the little guy! Was it our fault? No!
I have suffered financially. Was that my fault? Absolutely. I made some real doozies.
The good news is, we can decide what we allow ourselves to “suffer”. Or, what we allow ourselves to allow.
Still with me?
Therefore in looking at our “environments”: work, personal, physical, mental, emotional, are we suffering in many cases because of what we … allow?
Our environment is very much controlled by how we respond to what is in front of us.
Start small!
Describe the environment you want!
Be open to solutions.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor Frankl
“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”— Viktor Frankl