Less Critics, More Critiques!
What to do with toxic personalities!
Maybe it’s a personality thing. Some people are quick to criticise and some are more forgiving.
Is it genetic? Can we change from being less critical, less toxic to be more supportive and helpful?
And what do we do with the critics? Do we tolerate them? Allow them to have to have their place in our lives? Or is there something we can do, should do, to deal with the people who sap our energy?
Critics
Critics are people who enjoy taking potshots at your attempts to achieve a goal, work through a personal or professional challenge or simply get your work done.
They might be managers who focus on faults, gaps or weaknesses.
Colleagues and friends who feel better about themselves by tearing you down.
They drain your energy and enthusiasm.
And, it could be ... YOU! Castigating yourself for every minor error. As my friend Scott Amy says, “Stop self defecating!”
These are "Yeah, but..." people!
For every suggestion, idea or attempt at a task, they respond with “Yeah, but…”
Critiques
Critiques come from people who support you. Who want you to succeed no matter the situation. They may find fault, gaps, or weaknesses but they point them out to help you move forward. They also focus on your strengths and your opportunities that maybe you can't see. They see the spark that might turn into a flame.
Critiques are helpful. They may sting initially but you know the feedback is right. That you would be better if you took notice and acted on it.
The relationship improves.
These are "Yes, and ... " people. Again, Scott is like this. Always building up, always adding value to a conversation. Adding to an idea to help it come to life.
Don’t be a critic. And if you find that you are, pause and see what is happening. Why are you being a critic? Do you need to criticise? Can you offer something to add to the idea rather than simply taking away the energy?
Be more “Yes, and…” today. See what happens.
Thank you for Reading
Thank you for reading! 😊
My purpose in writing is for:
Personal Development — writing helps me articulate my thinking. I find discussing a topic quite revealing and, at times challenging. It allows me to be critical of my own thoughts. I can find myself thinking: “Why DO I think this?”
Developing Others — to help people make better choices by helping them think critically and realise their potential. We are often blinded by beliefs and thinking given to us by others.